“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”
most of us are angry
most of us are strangely
more alike than we’d like to believe
most of us are empty
most of us are simply
more alive in the scenes of our dreams
then there’s you
you’ve got something
I’ve been wanting
you’re so new
you’re my salvage
you’re my balance
you’re so new
most of us are hurting
most of us are searching
someone to love
someone to understand
most the time i’m fighting
multiple voices residing
in my head
then there’s you
you bring silence
to my violent truth
you’re my salvage
you’re my balance
you’re so new
it hit me like a tidal wave
knew that i was in love with you right away
turned all my days into brighter days
even when people say what we do is not ok
according to what the people say
who cares what other people say
man fuck what other people say
i'mma ride for you
baby if you gon ride for me
cuz i know
that what we share is real
and I feel so confident in
all you say
when you say
you’ll never leave
you’ll never leave
please never leave
yea, i believe you
most of all
i am thankful
you are just what i prayed for
you are what i was made for
yes, im for sure
most of all
i just want to mean the most to you
most of all baby im just tryna grow with you
i just wanna go with you
cuz you bring so much hope to the picture
some of us do find the one
to fall in love
and off of the
fucking face of the earth with
some of us DO deserve it
a love thats true and perfect
When I was born, my Grampy gave me the nickname “Penny”.
Penny is me in my purest, most authentic form.
On July 19th 2012, I lost my brother Miyagi to an inoperable brain tumor. He was 26.
My brother and I were very close. We were only 2 years apart. I never thought of him as a separate person, but an extension of myself. He was my reflection. In his presence I was confident and always so sure…
I was Penny.
Since that day I have been incomplete,
losing all direction and sense of self.
Since that day I have been lost trying to find him…
trying to find my way back to my self… back to Penny.
I turn to writing as my form of therapy, but it’s never quite enough.
I released 2 projects since then, but I wasn’t quite myself.
I try to find my brother’s love in other men, but they never can compare.
I try to get closer to my brother by doing different drugs, hoping that if I get high enough I can reach him, but they only take me further away.
I distract myself with work, which buys me things I wish I could share with him.
I distract myself with work, which causes stress I wish he were here to help me with.
The presence of my daughter, my siblings, my parents… only make his absence more apparent.
And so, I find myself taking trips, trying to escape any person, place or thing that is too familiar.
Physical trips by car, by plane…
Mental trips with controlled substances…
Trips in solitude in hopes that the quiet will bring me and my brother back together.
Through out these travels I’ve been keeping a record of my dreams, feelings and experiences in notebooks.
I turned these notebooks into a MAP.
a Movie (TRIP short film), an Album (TRIP) and a Poetry book (2fish)
This map has been helping me navigate through my suffering,
uncovering the righteous path that has been carved out before and for me…
Helping me identify my pain and my mistakes so that I can move forward and reach my full potential and find the light at the end of the tunnel…
My personal “hero’s journey".
and although I am not there yet… I know I’m getting closer.
This map was made by me, for me… but I feel obligated to share because I know that I am not alone in my suffering.
If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that every single person on this planet is suffering.
Not a single soul in this world is immune to the pain of losing someone they love.
The reality of this life is, at some point we will all lose someone we love.
In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to be more present in the lives of the people they love.
I hope this MAP encourages honesty, empathy and compassion.
In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to share their own mistakes, imperfections and fears… because I believe in doing so we can understand each other better and realize we are more alike than different.
In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to share their grief and pain because I believe suffering can be alleviated when we understand we are not going through any of it alone.
- Jhené Aiko Efuru “Penny” Chilombo
illiterate dairy maid in 1750, hundreds of years before germ theory was even thought of: because of my exposure to cowpox, im immune to smallpox. if we expose people to cowpox, they won’t die of smallpox
upper middle class college educated mother with internet living in the year of our lord 2018: vaccines are the devils handiwork and a conspiracy i’d rather my child die of polio than be the autism
Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’re probably getting ready to go down on your girl and know the joy of eating pussy. Here are a few tips to help you make your girl orgasm over and over again.
It’s not the Fast and the Furious
Don’t rush it. Take it slow at first and get a feel for what she likes. It’s not the Fast and the Furious btw. One of the most important things to do is for you and your girl to relax. Seriously, it’ll be fine, you got this! Kiss your way down her body and tease her thighs and butt. This will turn her on before you start the real action. Get close so that she thinks you’re going to go down any second, but don’t give in immediately.
Driving her crazy
Make sure you spend time getting her aroused before you head south. When she’s ready, kiss her on the outside of her panties. Breathe hot air through her panties against her vag area. Breathe softly but warmly for short bursts at a time. You can alternate between doing this and kissing her thighs and stomach. Teasing her will drive her crazy and make her wet and ready.
Slow and steady
Start out gentle, start licking slowly then gradually speed it up. Take time to explore the whole region, teasing her with your tongue. When you begin to kiss and lick her vulva, work your way in slowly from the outside. Start by licking the outer edges of the outer lips (labia), then very slowly spread them, and lick and kiss the inner lips, and around the vagina. Do this gently, as though you were still teasing her.
Avoid the clit, at first
Try to avoid coming in contact with her clit for as long as you can, even as you kiss her labia and vagina. When you reach her clit, lick softly and focus on the clitoral hood (just above the clitoris), since most women prefer indirect clitoral contact before they’re fully aroused. If she grinds faster as you lick her, press your tongue harder on her clit and go faster. If she grinds slowly, then slow it down and try flicking your tongue softer because her clit may be becoming sensitive.
Know your alphabet
If you’re not sure which strokes are best to approach the clit, try licking the alphabet by licking the shape of every letter in the alphabet. As silly as that sounds, it does work. While doing this, make your licks wide from time to time to cover the whole genital area, and make them small at other times, centering on the clit itself.
Suck it
As she becomes more aroused, you can gently suck her clit into your mouth and flick your tongue over it. This combination of suction with a much faster rhythm will drive her crazy.
Listen and learn
Listen carefully to what she says and the sounds she makes. If she sounds excited, keep doing what you’re doing for as long as you can. When she seems to respond less, it’s time to try a new stroke.
Learn to hum
Closing your mouth and humming against her clit, adding vibrations as you lick, will stimulate her clit and vagina.
Get into it
Use your entire face when you’re going down on her — your nose, cheeks and chin and move them around. Even if you’re just using your mouth, shaking your face from side to side and up and down will enhance friction in a great way.
Finger licking good
It’s important to have clean, well-groomed hands when you’re touching a woman’s genitals. Keep your fingernails trimmed and filed, to avoid scratching her sensitive skin. Don’t cut your nails right before hooking up; they’ll still be too rough and sharp to touch her. Every woman’s body responds differently, so you’ll want to play around with a few different ways of touching her to figure out what she likes best. Circle around her clit with one finger, gliding diagonally across the surface, rubbing up and down, or going side to side. Next, try using your fingers inside of her, starting with one, then moving up to two and three. Then try using one hand inside of her and the other on her clitoris. Ask her, “do you like it better when I do this or this?” Or see which approach makes her moan louder or breathe heavier. Once you’ve got her going, make sure you pay attention to her clit. Most women need repetitive, consistent clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Find your rhythm and don’t make any changes as she starts to near her climax. Also, penetrating your girl with one finger and making a “come here” motion is a great way to locate her G-spot, which will increase her orgasm. Alternate using your fingers and licking her.
Lube is your friend
When fingering her remember: the skin on a woman’s genitals is delicate. You don’t want your fingers pulling and tugging at her skin when you’re touching her, so using lube when you’re fingering her is a plus. You can use her natural fluids as lubricant (just dip your fingers into her vaginal opening), but doesn’t last as long as lube and she may feel embarrassed if she gets dry. Lube will not only decrease her discomfort (and any potential pain), but it will also increase her sensitivity and help your fingers move better. FYI: silicone lubricant lasts longest and feels best against the skin.
Don’t stop, she’s so close
When she is nearing an orgasm, make sure you do everything she wants you to. No matter if you have a kink in your neck or your arm’s falling asleep, keep doing exactly what you’re doing until you’re sure she’s orgasmed.
Know when enough is enough
The clit is extremely sensitive after climax, so when her orgasm is over, you don’t want to keep licking it as intensely as you were before she reached orgasm. As she climaxes, continue licking, but gently taper off as her reaction begins to mellow.
Be creative
When going down, feel free to be creative — mix and match what works best for you and what drives your girl crazy. :))
